I came back from college today and decided I wanted a blog. Why ? I need to write. I need 'something' that will keep a secret, a way I could express myself freely without thinking about the others around me who might judge me and of course assume that i am something that i'm not . I need something to listen and not comment but understand. Thats it.
That would allow me not to be afraid of saying things that are needed to say. Words that I was, I am and I will be afraid to say. To write about things I will never say to a real human being.
This, allows me to be brave. To be brave enough to speak out, to let my thoughts flow, unlike in daily basis where i have forbid myself from exposing my inner feelings. I guess, I have never truly been brave.
No one truly knows me. It's not their fault honestly. I just simply choose not to tell them. I dont want people listening to my endless worries. They have enough worries of their own. I don't mind. Some people do though. Some people get upset. Everyone is waiting for someone to pick them up, to comfort them, waiting for a friend to care, but why ? I dont understand. Why do we need people constantly asking us if we're okay ? Checking up on us to see if we need a friend and why do we get so upset when a friend is not 'there' to help you cope. You dont need to worry the world with your petty problems. How would it help ? Yes, it might make you feel better. Make you feel loved. But then again, why ? Why is there a need to feel love ? Or is it the need for attention and love is just a cover line. Maybe. Yes, i might be afraid of letting people see too much of me, to see my passion, my ambition , my drive, my worries, my thoughts. They just need to know that I am alive and happy. But there is one thing that I would like people to know about me, I am brave. Then again, I dont feel brave anymore.
So, this is why. This is why i choose to have this blog. Just for my eyes, and of course occasionally strangers.
Question : Can a man still be brave if he is afraid ?
Answer : That is the only time a man can be brave.
George R.R Martin
